2021-10-21

Surviving Motherhood: The Baby Years: Journal Your Maternal Rantings and Ramblings

Journal your way to maternal sanity!There is nothing better than being a mother but, let’s be honest, there are days when it takes every ounce of willpower you have, not to just check yourself into the nearest psychiatric facility (at least there, someone else does all the cooking, cleaning and laundry).But, whether you’re scrubbing your squirming baby’s poop off the walls, wrestling a clump of hair from your baby's vise-like grip, or silently pleading with your baby to stop crying long enough for you to scrape the fuzzy film of day-old gunk off your teeth, motherhood is always a little easier to "survive" if you have a sense of humor about it. This journal is definitely for you if...you don't remember the last time you had more than two consecutive hours of sleep (you are currently sporting the glassy eyes and lumbering gait of the Walking Dead)your ultimate fantasy these days consists of spending a full twenty minutes in a hot bath with a book that doesn't have pictures (you no longer have the energy to dream about 'sultry seductions' that would require unrealistic efforts, such as personal grooming and consciousness)you don't remember the last time you had a shower, or wore something that didn't have an elastic waistband (sometimes you find yourself standing in the rain, in a desperate attempt to rinse off the stench of baby vomit, pureed broccoli and forgotten dreams)you have safety locks, latches and knobs on every cabinet, drawer and door in your house (you can't even make a peanut butter sandwich in under twenty minutes)you forget how to have a conversation that doesn't involve cooing, babbling, making farm animal noises or singing twisted songs about babies in treetops (what the heck?!) everything in your home below knee-level is covered in a slimy layer of snot and slobber (your baby secretes no less than a gallon of bodily fluids per day)Truth be told, when you are a mother of a baby, one day can just blur into another and "success" can be hard to define (any day that you don't find yourself curled up in a fetal position under the dining room table, can be considered a victory). Sometimes, you just need a little reminder that being a Mother is really the best “job” on earth, even if it sometimes feels like you've been set adrift in the middle of the ocean without a life raft.Surviving Motherhood: The Baby Years can help, with...lots of laugh-out-loud parenting quotes (take comfort in the fact that no one else has a clue, either)multiple-choice 'self-assessments' (compare what you survived today with what other mothers have endured since the dawn of civilization)tons of space to record your maternal rantings and ramblings (you might as well write them down, because your kids certainly aren't paying attention to anything you're saying)Surviving Motherhood: The Baby Years is just what you need to “survive” whatever motherhood throws at you (in my experience, it’s usually wet and sticky)! Order your copy today and start journaling YOUR way to maternal sanity! P.S. If you're not the mother of a baby, buy a copy for someone who is, or for someone who is going to be soon, then just sit back and take comfort in the knowledge that you have brought some much-needed laughter into their lives (well, they would laugh, if they had the energy to)!


Book Details

Book Title: Surviving Motherhood: The Baby Years: Journal Your Maternal Rantings and Ramblings

Book Author: Lindsay Pratt

Book Category: -

ISBN: 0994995806